100 reasons why you should buy tickets to war crimes [80-71]

Tickets are on sale now for our June production of War Crimes. You should buy some. Here are some reasons why:

80. Because our play kind of pisses off liberals
79. Because nothing caps off a day at work like 90 minutes of shouting and hallucinations
78. Because you'll fear the future less the more you know about it
77. Because (unless you squint and kind of turn your head sideways) it's not about immigration reform
76. Because we have inside info that aliens are planning a massive abduction on June 10, but wont be looking for victims inside the Robert Moss Theater (don't ask us how we know this)
75. Because it's classier than those fake documentaries that never really took off
74. Because you can't watch it on the iPad
73. Because we had nothing to do with the Vatican cover-up
72. Because FREE BEER (note: there is no free alcohol of any kind associated with this production)
71. Because Conan's tour sold out and this is practically the same thing

Need more reasons? Come back next week. Otherwise, buy your tickets right now.