go throw yourselves in the Bay

You see a headline like this, and you think that there's going to be some digging beneath the platitudes; you know -- insight, some real journalism:

Poll Finds Tea Party Backers Wealthier and More Educated

Instead, we learn that people who describe themselves as members of the Tea Party "movement," and the journalists who interview them, are fucking morons. To wit:

Tea Party supporters are wealthier and more well-educated than the general public, and are no more or less afraid of falling into a lower socioeconomic class, according to the latest New York Times/CBS News poll.

My goodness, this is news! Let's find these erudite, wealthy philosophers who have been shouted down by the plebes thus far, shall we?

“I just feel [President Obama is] getting away from what America is,” said Kathy Mayhugh, 67, a retired medical transcriber in Jacksonville. “He’s a socialist. And to tell you the truth, I think he’s a Muslim and trying to head us in that direction, I don’t care what he says. He’s been in office over a year and can’t find a church to go to. That doesn’t say much for him.”

Emphasis added, idiocy not. This is my favorite, though:

Some defended being on Social Security while fighting big government by saying that since they had paid into the system, they deserved the benefits.

Others could not explain the contradiction.

“That’s a conundrum, isn’t it?” asked Jodine White, 62, of Rocklin, Calif. “I don’t know what to say. Maybe I don’t want smaller government. I guess I want smaller government and my Social Security.” She added, “I didn’t look at it from the perspective of losing things I need. I think I’ve changed my mind.”

You didn't look at it from what perspective, exactly? You mean in all the time you guys wrote your misspelled placards; drove, flew, or bussed to Washington, D.C.; camped outside the office of Congressmen so you could shout racist and homophobic epithets that them -- you didn't have time to think your slogans through to their logical conclusions?

And hey, New York Times journalists -- did the person who wrote your lead paragraph read the rest of the article? Because I think they kind of didn't.

You know what? We should have death panels.